Living by Accident: The Philosophy

Hi. I’m Rob Holmes.

Have you ever wondered where your next meal was coming from? Or where you’ll be sleeping next month? If you haven’t, you may not be a member of the contingent who can understand this blog. If you can’t relate, please do us both a favor and tune out now.  If you are still here, and can think as deeply as required, let me fill you in on why I believe what I do.

I was born in South Jersey in 1970 and my mother committed suicide right after my eleventh birthday. I spent more than two decades trying to make sense of it until my father does the same. I guess to follow her down. I don’t know. But all I know is that, back in 2004, I was a man in his early thirties with major issues.  Again, no pity.  Just journey.

Living by AccidentIn order to understand me, let’s go backward two decades. Even though I was not raised in a religious home, I always knew there was a force from beyond that was drawing me in. This led me to research my options. Even though the Old Testament seemed a bit too violent and rule-ridden, I felt the New Testament, or at least the Red Letters (the words of Jesus) made sense to me. In high school, I read Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time”. During this period, I also got involved in church and found Jesus. Since then, I’ve read Hawking’s updates and closely follow Michio Kaku’s findings. I soon found myself combining the discipline of quantum mechanics and the Big Bang with the existence of God, then wound up in the worlds of Albert EinsteinJohn Calvin and Isaac Newton. Down the rabbit hole I went. The concept of non-linear time and predestination had my attention. Nothing else makes sense. Time happened. Shakespeare said that all the worlds a stage and we each must play our part. Shakespeare… Calvin… Einstein… Hawking… Kaku… I agree with the common denominator. Time is not linear.

This brings me to explaining the title of the blog to to you. The phrase “Living By Accident” and subtitle “Sometimes Risk is the Reward” refer to the feeling of helplessness when acting out our places in the Universe. Some folks want to believe they are masters of their own destinies. Things are not that simple. If time is not linear, which many quantum theorists believe, everything has already happened. This brings me to the belief that everything has already happened.  This brings me to focus on the subtitle that “Sometimes Risk is the Reward.” I believe that it is the journey itself, and belief in the process, is the real reward.

You must understand, however, that believing in the concept of ‘Living by Accident’ is not to live life without deliberate purpose. It is merely to acknowledge that the blueprint has already been laid out prior to our involvement and our purpose is to fulfill the role(s) set out for us. Again, a devout atheist may tell you the idea is crazy. However, quantum mechanics will bring a reasonable person back to the reality that time is not linear and, likely, already predetermined. This brings me to the reality that human beings are in this existence to live their lives to the fullest to a predetermined end.

Life is amazing. Nothing is random. Deal with it. Live it. Love it.

Rob’s Jobs Series: “The Hero”

Living by Accident - The HeroAs children, and even adults, we follow our fathers’ footsteps and look to them for answers.  “What would Dad do?” or “Let me ask Dad.” are common things that may go through one’s mind.  Everyone who knew my father tells me how great he was.  He excelled at everything he did.  His personality was bigger than life and he was kind.  He faced adversity with a rare combination of ferocity and excitement.  Until he didn’t.  At fifty-five years old my father, my hero, left this planet on his own accord.  No.  He didn’t spring for tickets aboard SpaceX.  He drank a bottle of tequila and swapped an aspirin for a bullet.

I know I promised this to be a business lesson and I assure you I am getting there.  Many success coaches tell you to mimic the habits of successful people.  While I do not disagree, it is important to be selective with which habits you follow.  The author of Ecclesiastes was one of the wisest men in all of the land yet he had made every mistake a man could make.  How could this be?  If he is so wise, and his wisdom so valuable, how can he be this flawed?  Because that’s reality.

At thirty-four years old I found myself looking at a roadmap of only two decades with a not-so-happy ending.  I was in the same career path as my father.  My business was doing quite well and it was similar to his.  His industry peers were also mine.  Heck. I look like him and my waistline was headed in his direction.  I was all set until things started going downhill.  I was a husband and a business owner with a lot of pressures.  What now?  I started by telling myself that I needed to figure out what Dad would do.  It took me a few months to realize that wasn’t going to work.

When I was seven, my dad taught me to ride a bicycle.  I was scared to pedal without his hand on the seat.  One day, I looked back to see he was far behind and I was pedaling just fine.  It has been eight years since Dad let go of that bicycle and I’m still doing just fine.  We search our lives for heroes and father figures.  Many heroic figures chose to end their own lives with alcohol and a bullet including Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S. Thompson, Junior Seau, Kurt Cobain, Don Cornelius, Vincent van Gogh, Freddie Prinze, Richard Jeni and Jeret Peterson.

Heroes are like drugs.  They make you feel like you can do anything.  Until they don’t.  Listen carefully.  There is no one better fit to manage your life than you.  There is no one stronger than you.  So put on those shoes and stand the hell up straight.  It’s time to be your own hero.

Now I’m going to drink my coffee.

Living by Accident

Sometimes Risk is the Reward

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The Many Ramblings of a Not-So-Mad Man