Hi. I’m Rob Holmes. I was born in South Jersey and my mother committed suicide right after my eleventh birthday. I spent more than two decades trying to make sense of it until my father does the same. I guess to follow her down. I don’t know. But, all I know is that, back in 2004 I was a man in his early thirties with major parental issues.
I’ve always been a fan of the two great piano men of rock and roll: Billy Joel and Elton John. It seems that, no matter the moment in my life, Billy had spoken to me as if he was my father in absentia. Elton was not ever far behind. The day I received the phone call that my father had swallowed his Glock, I ran home and curled up on the couch. Soon thereafter, I put in a compact disc. It was Elton John’s “Madman Across the Water”. For years prior, I had related to the album’s title song but had not been able to explain why. The song is about a man who is loved and admired but still desperately lonely beyond words. The more he is admired, the more the song’s character feels like he is isolated, almost ridiculed. Unlike all of Elton’s other songs, the lead instrument of this song is the guitar as opposed to the piano. This became my theme song. I put the CD player on repeat and didn’t turn it off for a month.
The title of this blog is “I Can See Very Well” which is the first line of the song that inspired it. Just like Elton, I feel like my purpose in life is to entertain others or at least better their lives somehow with my personality or talents. As a result of feeling fulfilled by the purpose-driven side of my actions, I also feel further from the people whom I entertain and/or inspire.
I hope you read my writings and understand who I am.