living by accident

I’m going to go ahead and preempt this statement with a reminder that it’s nearly 3am, I’ve been up since 8:30am and that was after going to bed somewhere around, oh, I don’t know, 4am or so. So this might not make sense, but do your best to follow along anyway…

This whole process of thought goes along completely with the last couple blurbs that I posted. I was charging through life, so gung ho for this plan I had concocted, but this plan wasn’t working. It was a great start, but the follow through just wasn’t there. Not because I gave up, but more because I hadn’t completely thought it all through. Take going back to school for instance. I met with my adviser, got my shit together, was ready to jump into it and then…well, then I realized that 24 credit hours in one semester, plus work, family, friends, life and now this budding friendship-ish thing I have going on, and am not about to discard as something bigger than I can imagine, just isn’t going to happen. And, in times like this, it’s important to weigh your options. Check out the video:

Now, that was me. I had this failure is not an option attitude. I was treading ground, forging a path and nothing was going to stop me. It took me a while to figure it out, but what Jay Smooth said was right, “Sometimes failure is an option. Sometimes, it’s your best option.” I’ve watched enough of his shows to know that when he says “failure” he isn’t referring to failing and giving up. He’s referring to moving passed where you thought you were going, and finding a new, more relevant destination.

I do a lot of hiking at the Nature Center. There’s this part in the trail that really throws a lot of people off. When you start on the trail, you really only have one direction to go: forward. A couple miles in, you reach this clearing. Huge field, wild flowers growing everywhere, and you realize that you have options. You don’t just have the one trail, you don’t have two…all of a sudden there are seven different trails that you can head down. They all lead back to the Nature Center, but they’re all different and have their own unique challenges. I say this because, as is the case with life, sometimes when you get halfway down your trail you start to see other options. You start to see a different direction that your path could take you. The trail doesn’t end. It’s not failure. But it’s realizing that, as you get further along, other options open up to you.

That’s where I’m at right now. I’ve reached this clearing in my trail where I’ve been given some options. And while I may change my course slightly, eventually it’s going to lead me to where I want to go. Eventually I’ll reach my original destination, but now I have a few different ways to reach it. I’m at a clearing, being given an opportunity to weigh my options. Being given a chance to look at the bigger picture, something I didn’t get to do when I started on this adventure. It’s a good place to be in if you can realize that sometimes you really do need to change course. Sometimes we’ll learn something about ourselves along the way that we might not have known before. Like we’ve found a new piece of the puzzle.

So I don’t know about you. I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing or what direction you’re heading. But I have to encourage you to make sure that, every once in a while at least, you stop at the clearing and realize that you have options. Goodnight, all.